The Birthday Cake

I come from a non-religious family. My father falls somewhere in between agnostic and atheist. My mother went to a Baptist missionary school in Japan but read novels during chapel. I have no problem with religion; everyone is entitled to their beliefs, I just don't have a need for it in my life. My in-laws however, are a different story.

I had been dating my husband for a year and was invited to attend a holiday gathering of his extended family - aunts, uncles, cousins - the week before Christmas. The food and drink was plentiful, everyone was in good spirits. Then my future mother-in-law pulled me aside to show me the cake because there was something amusing about the writing on the cake. I look down and see "Happy Birthday Jessus." I hear my mother-in-law go on about how the person at the bakery got the name spelled wrong and gosh, isn't that just the funniest thing you've ever seen. I'm too busy trying to process the fact that there is a birthday cake for Jessus, I mean Jesus. I'm also wondering why my dear boyfriend neglected to mention this to me. No matter, I go on with my socializing. After everyone has had dinner, we are all gathered back into the kitchen. My boyfriend, now husband, is nowhere to be found. Seems he conveniently was out of the room. I soon found out why, with the lights dimmed, a candle is lit on the birthday cake, and a rousing version of 'Happy Birthday' is sung. Happy Birthday Jesus.

During the car ride home, I tried asking a few questions about the celebration. "Do you do this every Christmas?" "Is there always a cake with candles and singing?" The answers to those questions turned out to be yes. I stopped my interrogation and decided that every family has their own rituals and I would have to adjust. My willingness to accept this tradition has not stopped the voice in my head from saying "but it isn't even His real birthday!" I figure it's better to keep my mouth shut and save all the snappy, snarky comments for political discussions.